My, how things have changed!

I'm not sure when the usual "nesting" period begins for a pregnant woman. I'm not sure that it matters to me at this point. But I'm starting to feel more "at home" here in Tennessee. Whether that's just me getting used to being here or my hormones preparing a place for Olivia - I have no idea. Either way, it's happening. Changes are happening.

Miss Tiny - who never weighed in at over 100 lbs - is now up to 127 pounds and counting. I am 27 weeks and 5 days along into my pregnancy. Just 10 short weeks way from being "full term."

The past three weeks have been somewhat of a struggle for me health wise, though. Normally, I wouldn't care too terribly much, but with Livvy, things are different to me. Three weeks ago, I woke up from a great night's sleep and vomited for the next 6 hours. I recovered from it within the weekend, and the only lasting impression on my body was that I would get nauseated after I ate - every day, every meal. I was okay. I still ate, battled the nausea with water. Less than a week after my initial "incident," I woke up with cramping and nausea, which wasn't eased by Tylenol or anything. At my mom's request, I took a urinalysis that day (I work for my mom at her health care clinic when I'm in AR) and it revealed that I had a high level of blood in my urine, as well as an elevated number of white blood cells (pointing to some sort of infection). Now, we weren't sure the extent of the infection, which we figured to be an urinary tract infection, because of the blood. (Side note: in pregnancy, untreated UTIs can lead to a kidney infection, which can cause many complications - most commonly preterm labor) An exam showed no signs of any other bleeding, which was a very good thing. I was given antibiotics and something for pain, and all was well.

Until a week later - on Thursday, when I woke up at 2 am throwing up and continued until 8:30 am. Thankfully, we already had our regularly scheduled OB appointment and I was able to see the doctor at 9. By this time, I was dehydrated pretty badly and still not able to keep anything down. Our doctor said it didn't look like a virus because I didn't have any other symptoms or pain. She accredited it to subtle acid reflux that caused reoccurring vomiting and nausea. Her fix: hook me up to an IV for hydration and lace it with medicine for nausea. My poor husband...he hates needles and anything to do with needles.

That being said - this month has been the hardest month of the pregnancy for me. Next up - delivery! And no, I don't think that's going to be easy at all.

In other news, my family is doing well. Marvelous, in fact. About 3 months ago, my parents went on a diet together. Their reason - they wanted to be active grandparents with their new granddaughter!!! So far, Daddy has lost 45 pounds, I believe, and Mommy has lost about 42. They both have a lot more energy, they're sleeping better, and just have a better quality of life. Both are looking forward to little Olivia.

My sister is doing good. Her MS is in remission, it seems. She, too, is losing weight. As of last weekend, it was 33 pounds. Her reason is because studies show that MS patients typically do better dealing with symptoms and such if they weigh less. To each their own. (No reason is a bad reason to me!) I'm so proud of her...and my parents, too, of course.

My brother is...well, he's my brother. Physically, he's great! There are other things suffering, like school and relationships with parents. Prayer is the only answer. For him and for my parents. I know they struggle with where Kyle is right now.

Well, this ended up being a long post. Maybe if I updated more often the posts would be shorter. = ) Josh and I are planning on spending the afternoon in the kitchen doing some handy-work. Okay, so he'll be doing the work, and I'll be doing whatever I can to help.

Over 8 months and I love him more than I ever thought possible. God is so good!

Love and blessings to all
kmeals.

Martha Olivia

Well, Saturday held a surprise for me. My mom drove from AR to spend some time with us and she got to be at the ultrasound on Monday. I love every minute she's here, but I wish the time didn't have to pass so quickly.

But that being said, my mom got to see her granddaughter for the first time. We're having a baby girl, Martha Olivia. I can only hope she doesn't grow up like me. =)

Sorrow to Joy

Yesterday was a frustrating day for both Josh and I. His was with work, mine was emotionally.

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday morning at 8:30. For the last two appointments, we were told we'd get to have our ultrasound done on this appointment, and we'd get to know the sex and all that good stuff. We got there and had a pleasant exchange with the receptionist, which was a new thing for us. Typically it's just checking us like a herd of cattle.

We get called back to our room in a timely manner (another thing which was unusual), and learned I gained 5 more pounds. Then, it was time to hear the heartbeat again...and things started going downhill from there.

It took our nurse about 10 minutes to find our baby's heartbeat, all the while saying, "I hear lots of stuff, but I ain't hearing no baby." After a great amount of time of wondering whether I had miscarried without knowing, she finally found the heartbeat. "I just wasn't looking low enough," she joked. Not funny, ma'am. Not funny.

I had a new doctor on this visit, and he was very nice. He measured my baby belly and said that I was growing normally and then asked if I had gotten my flu shot yet. Of course, this led to me signing a consent form and getting my flu shot (the normal flu shot - the H1N1 vaccination will be available to me in mid-October), which made me achy. I'm not good with pain. I get whiney.

And then we were done. We were ushered out of the room and on to the check out area without mention of an ultrasound. Josh and I didn't know what to say. I was disappointed. I had to let my family know that we didn't have an ultrasound done and try to be okay for them.

I received a call from the Jackson Clinic about 11 am yesterday morning asking me to call them back. After lots of "on hold" time and explaining the reason for my call to seven different people, I was told "we're scheduling an ultrasound with your next appointment. You need to be here at 8 instead of 8:30." Four more weeks until we know about our baby. Four more weeks of it being "Peanut" and "Junior".

Last night, Josh's cousin's wife was hosting a Thirty-One party and I was invited to go. Since it was family, I felt inclined to go. At this party, I met several women and they were all very nice. Amy (the hostess) told me that I should get to know one guest in particular, Jessica. Jessica and I looked at each other and then at Amy questioningly. "She works at the Jackson Clinic OB/GYN, Kelsey."

I then found out that she is my current doctor's main nurse and the reason I didn't see her is because her assistant is the nurse who did our heartbeat and such. I also found out that it was her who I talked to on the phone earlier that day, and she was the one who was actually able to help me. She asked how my appointment went, and I expressed my disappointment about the ultrasound.

She was surprised that, at 19 weeks, I was having to wait 4 more weeks to have the ultrasound done. Everyone agreed finding out the gender is one of the special things about a pregnancy and it was really hard to wait. Jessica then went on to say, "Hon, let me pull your chart tomorrow morning and see if we can't move that up for you. I'm sure Dr. Pierce won't mind."

Jessica called me this morning by 8:15 and said, "Hey Kelsey, could you come in Monday for your ultrasound?"

Praise the Lord.

Motherhood

I felt the baby move.

I'm going to be a mother.

I miss the water

I feel like a fish out of water. I don't belong in AR anymore, but I really don't have a place in TN. Will it ever end?

Tears

I made my husband cry.
...Not a few tears.
Bawl.

Looking up

So, today is May the 11th...just 3 days from the 2 month anniversary of being married! That seems completely crazy. You know how it is - one one hand you feel like this is the way it's always been, and on the other, you wonder how on earth it could've been this long. A lot of things have happen in these two months, good and bad. I think I'm just going to do a recap of what's happened and kind of put comments on it...maybe.

Josh and I were married March 14, 200 at 11 am at my home church. As seen on Facebook, we had a lot of fun with the ceremony and then going out to eat afterward. Josh then surprised me by taking me to a cabin the in the middle of the Ozarks where we spent the first week of our marriage (aka - honeymoon). Then, we went to our home 6 hours away.

We've had two wedding showers after we got home so a lot of time was spent trying to find places for everything we received, cleaning what was once a bachelor pad, and trying to catch up on laundry (which I am terrible at doing!).

I am now in charge of keeping track of and paying for all the bills - watching our bank account and expenses. Now, my one semester of Accounting at EC didn't prepare me for real life...maybe because it was only Accounting I! But, it did help me remember some formatting in the Excel program where I can keep track of everything easier. I even had to go to Jackson Hewitt on our first anniversary (April 14th - the day before taxes were due) and get our taxes done. Talk about someone procrastinating. It was an interesting trip because I had never had to have my taxes done - and I was going for Josh alone. What started as a traumatic experience ended up as a job offer starting during the fall, if I'd like to work with Jackson Hewitt.

Last week, Josh was diagnosed with mono, so that's been exciting. Keeping him away from everyone while he was contagious was trickier than it sounds. This week was West Tennessee's big Strawberry Festival and there's a lot of neat activites going on - parades, carnivals, BBQ judging...(guess which one Josh was interested in=] ). Also, we typically eat lunch with his grandparents every Thursday, but because of Josh's sickness we couldn't go. His grandfather's in bad shape...seems to be doing a lot better these days, but I didn't want to risk it. One sickness can devastate this family.

The beginning of last month, I wrote a note asking for prayer. I was really struggling. My mom and I were on rocky ground, and it completely threw me off. She wouldn't talk to me or contact me in anyway. With her being my best friend, it was hard to deal with the move when she wouldn't talk to me. But, it's all settled now. We're doing great - as if it never happened.

So things seem to be looking up. My sister's coming for a visit at the end of the month. I should see the rest of family in June maybe (but definitely in July). I've started to be able to sleep through the night, something I haven't done since before EC. But, I guess things only start to look up when I'm looking Up and am not concerned with these obstacles on earth.

Josh and I have been trying to memorize Scripture daily - what is called "fighter verses." That's really been neat - learning together the most important words. We've joined the "married class" in Sunday School. They were finishing up the study based on Fireproof when we entered, and now we're moving on the the book, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. We're both excited about it.

It's amazing what God can do.

-km

Married life

I'm struggling. I miss my mom so bad. I wish I could still live in AR, but be married to Josh at the same time. Please, pray that I find security and contentment.

Identity Crisis

I'm so glad that God is smarter than I am. I'm glad He knows what's best for me.

My high school "career" was tough - at least, I think it was. Yes, some do have it worse than I did, but it was hard. I have the need, if you will, to please people. That's a great thing to possess for the new job I have (which is in a customer service department of the same company who employs my husband *tehehe*), but for a female middle child who is nothing like her siblings, it's terrible. I know everyone goes through a stage of wanting to fit in, but mine was more like an era of wanting to fit in. Know where I'm going yet?

Mom always said I was pretty. "You could wear a burlap sack and make it look fashionable, sweetheart." But then again, she was biased towards her baby girl (which is what she actually calls me). Now, I know I was "fearfully and wonderfully made," but how can a 14 year old girl apply that to her life when everything around her is telling her to be thin, to find someone who loves you, to fit in?

My freshman year of high school, I found who I thought was the bomb-diggity. We dated for about two years, off and on, which was horrible and emotionally draining. Because I had no real identity (in Christ or otherwise), it was very easy to persuade me or to play on my emotions. It was during this time that I lost about 30 pounds by changing my eating habits and maintained that weight loss by running about 8 miles a day on average. I stopped wearing make up of any type and basically lost all of my friends (who, as it was, were encouraging me to end the relationship). The relationship did end (thank goodness!) when this young man was unfaithful.

My junior year, I was all about family. I didn't do much with any friends, but I was at every church event and didn't miss a single of my brother's sporting events. I excelled in the choir program of which I was a member and I had a 4.1 GPA. I basically tutored a friend in Spanish class and so we would both have passing grades.

This same fellow who needed help in Spanish class was who I next dated. We dated for about 5 months throughout our senior year. He was a really good friend before we started dating and now I will be happy if I never have to speak to him again. This relationship ended mutually (although not for the same reasons) and abruptly.

During the last little while of the relationship, I started getting closer to my family again, specifically my mom. We would exercise together (about 10 miles a day walking) and lay out in the sun and work together. It was because I was so close to my mom during this time that I met the strong, sincere, loving man who was to become my husband, but only after I found my identity in the One who made me.

I have a sovereign God who orchestrates every aspect of my life - from relationships, to sickness, to the shoes in which I run. Dear friends, know that He is all-knowing, all-loving, and even when things seem like they will never get better, look Up.

(Miss you, EC friends. Praying for you)

So, first post with a new name, eh? Yes, it's official.

By the way - thanks Mel! Love it!

Last days

Well, here I am. Trying to enjoy my last few days with my maiden name. Yeah, that's right. Maiden name. Weird, huh?

Today was my last day at work. It's weird saying goodbye to the things you never thought you'd say it. Like, co-workers. Friends. Family. Animals. Places.

Goodbye, dear maiden name.

Not being there.

It's amazing how one phone call can make your day go from good to absolutely horrible. Or can instill in you a sense of fear or dread.

On Wed the 11th (of Feb) I left to go to Tennessee for a week. It's a six hour drive, which isn't that bad, and the drive went well. I arrived about 3 in the afternoon, went through my "new" house a bit and then got ready for church. Josh and I (along with his parents) went to church together and we ended up going to choir practice while his parents were playing ping-pong. Now, of course my parents knew when I arrived because I called them. They knew I was safe and knew I planned to go to church that night. What they didn't know was a call was coming.

About 8:30, we get into the van in the church parking lot, and headed to go to walmart. I had a missed call from my mom on both of my phones (I have a TN phone and an AR phone). I listened to her voicemail and immediately was dreading calling her back. All it said was, "Kelsey, this is Mom. Call me back." I couldn't completely understand what she was saying because she sounded like she was crying.

I tried calling her back about 7 times - and I didn't reach her. Hearing my mom cry on the phone and then not being able to reach her is a scaring feeling. She called me back about 3 minutes later from my Uncle Kelly's house (which I thought was weird). That was the call.

kelsey: Mom, are you okay? what's going on?
mom: Aunt Brenda is dead. Uncle Kelly found her when he got home from work. She's gone.
kelsey: What happened? Does anyone know anything?
mom: Kelsey, I can't talk right now. I'll call you later.

My Aunt Brenda died on Wednesday, February 11, 2009. She was only in her 50s. She has been in our family for over 30 years because my uncle married her when they were 16.

The autopsy was inconclusive. She had gone to the ER that day for a migraine - and they perscribed medicine for pain. We're waiting for the blood work. Unfortunately, it seems my Aunt died from an accidental overdose.

And because I was with my fiance in TN, I wasn't there. I missed the visitation. I missed the funeral. I missed my family.

I wasn't there.

No school, no time to waste on the computer

So. Josh and I are ready. Well, I am anyway. We've gone through premarital counseling, for which I am so absolutely grateful. I have my dress - love it!

I'm nervous, though. Does he know what he's getting himself into? Part of me wants to say no because he's still marrying me. Is that the unconditional love? =]

Pray.

I used to like the month of April

But now I like the month of March. March 14th, to be exact. It shall be my wedding date. =]